Posts

Being Authentic

Setting boundaries used to be very difficult for me. I hated the thought of someone being angry at me. It was my biggest fear in life to lose all of my friends and be alone in the world, so I avoided anything that might potentially get me ejected from any tribe I was in.

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It was interesting to find that was exactly what happened, in part because I never set boundaries. I did actually lose a ton of people I considered friends. Turns out I was right. Being told “no” did make people angry at me.

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In exchange, I discovered so much more about myself. That I actually did not enjoy most of the things I was doing to please other people. And there were plenty of things that I LOVED doing that some people I knew would absolutely hate.

When you do not know and maintain your personal boundaries, you really aren’t being true to yourself. You are wearing different masks to be whatever anybody and everybody wants you to be. It is truly EXHAUSTING. Not to mention you never really feel comfortable anywhere, even alone.

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Having my greatest fear come true and realizing that I was still breathing and walking among the living was a blessing. It gave me super powers, really. If you survive and learn to function in the face of your fear, you become invincible.

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Later on, as I grew my business, branding became much easier. Being authentic in both my personal and business life was a gift. Getting turned down for a role (or a relationship) is not as painful. What is for me is for me. I’m not out to get EVERY gig. I want to get the gigs that I will be BRILLIANT in. I want to get the roles that line up with my talent, my vibe, my culture, my smile, my freckles, and my enthusiasm. Plus, I don’t have to keep up with so many masks because I am ALWAYS authentically me.

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Start being brave enough to name and maintain your personal boundaries. There may be some pushback at first, but trust me. It’s a sign that boundaries needed to be there in the first place!

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Mompreneur Life

Over the weekend, I got to be a Soccer Mom and watch my DS do his favorite thing.

Early in the week, I got to be a Gymnastics Mom and watch my DD flip around, which is ONE of her favorite things. (Her favorites change weekly.)

I always say “I get to…” versus “I have to…” It’s a tiny change that has a huge impact.

I do feel it is my privilege to be mom to these two kiddos. It took us a while to find each other.

Plus, my job as voiceover talent allows me to be the best parent I can to them. Yes, I work weird hours and I have to market myself on the daily to get the projects coming in. On the flip-side I don’t have to worry constantly about how I will be able to find adequate child care that I can actually afford just to be able to work. That struggle is ROUGH. Even though they are in school, as a single mom I would still need a nanny or babysitter of some sort to work my old 50-60 hour work week. Someone to drop them off at school or before school. Someone to pick them up afterwards. And feed them dinner. And drive them to their activities and get them back home. Because I also need to take on an extra hour of travel to most places I’m driving locally because of traffic.

These are really hard things for employers to be willing to work with me on.

As every mom knows, it’s always a juggling act. Being single just means I also have to hula-hoop while doing it.

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I do it, though, and we make it work. The kids are starting to notice that there is much less stress in our tiny house. And it is more organized. There is also the added bonus of them actually SEEING me working hard and knowing that they are learning business skills for themselves, too so they are set up for success in the future.

And that is just as satisfying as getting a check for a gig!